Should be taken to heart as early as possible in life
“The greatest events are not the loudest, but our quietest hours” Friedrich Nietzsche
FOMO – The Fear Of Missing Out
The worry of missing out on something works with great reliability: “Only 2 seats left on this flight”, “Only 1 room left in this category” – even if we know or suspect that this is not always the whole truth, we tend to click on the shopping basket a little faster and pull out the credit card.
As long as it doesn’t turn into a financial disaster where we use money we don’t have to buy things to impress people we don’t actually like, we can smile mildly about it.
It becomes more difficult when the fear of missing out or not belonging to a certain circle becomes a psychopathological finding.
According to psychologists, this fear is further fueled in many young people by images on social media, which often present an illusory world that has little to do with reality.
Who can absolve themselves of this?
We all want to belong, to be part of groups, to be valued and recognized. That’s why it happens to us all time and again that we are afraid of missing out on something: A meeting, a celebration, an event.
Being everywhere means stress and can mean that you are only physically present but no longer mentally. Saying goodbye in French, the French exit, which is actually intended for exceptions, suddenly becomes the rule.
The fear of missing out on a better alternative then leads to an excess of acceptances and cancellations as soon as a more interesting event opens up.
It leaves behind sad or hurt hosts, who at some point learn that guests who had initially confirmed their attendance cancel at short notice in order to accept seemingly more interesting invitations.
ROMO – The relief of missing out
We recommend ROMO – Relief Of Missing Out, the relief of not having to be there. In most cases, we are not invited as individuals, but because of our professional function, our potential as a buyer, or simply because we are needed as a claqueur.
It’s bitter when you find out afterwards that you’ve spent the precious little time that all of us ultimately have in the wrong way. For example, missing your grandmother’s 100th birthday to take part in a strategy workshop that you thought was important for the survival of the company, only to be told afterwards by the CEO in confidence that the whole thing was just an alibi event anyway, to give everyone the feeling that he or she could seriously help shape the company.
Friends are rare
So next time you think you need to be there, remember the poet who knew and described human nature like no other, William Shakespeare: “Striving to better oft we mar what’s well”
Enjoy a cozy evening at home with delicious food instead of fighting at the buffet.
Rather drive into solitude than to the in-place where everyone thinks they have to be seen.
Make a date with a good friend for an extensive high tea instead of downing tea from paper cups in a waiting lounge.
Look forward to the good wine that you know will clear your head the next morning, instead of the dubious wines where the label alone gives you a headache.
Cancel the party with the host, who greeted you with a big hello last time and two weeks later no longer knew you at the opening.
If you’d like a few more tips on ROMO, check out TheGstaadGuy on Instagram. The fictional character of Constance, who suffers his fictional life of luxury in Gstaad, is delicious. He is also a big supporter of ROMO. Enjoy.
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Photographs and illustrations © GloriousMe 2023
